


When In Doubt, Group The Chat

by StorytellerSecrets



Series: CHAPTERS [2]
Category: Original Work, chapters - Fandom
Genre: Allen Has A Twin, Alternate Universe- No Magic Eyes, Crack, F/M, Fanfiction Of My Own Unwritten Story, Female Character of Color, Gen, Group Chat Fic, High School, Love/Hate, Love/hate relationships, M/M, Memes, Millennial Humor, Multi, Nihilism, No Plot/Plotless, Original work - Freeform, Other, Poor Character Development, Poor plot Development, The Torotta Twins, Twins, chat fic, rated for language, text fic, vague mentions of violence, vine references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-07-13 19:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 2,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16024454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StorytellerSecrets/pseuds/StorytellerSecrets
Summary: Sami: hi hello welcome to chilis@Allen left Untitled Chat@Sami added @Allen to Untitled ChatSami: ur not going anywhere brandon





	1. welcome to chilis

**@Sami** opened  _ Untitled Chat _

 

**@Sami** added **@Allen, @Janie** ,  **@Neah** and 1+ others to _ Untitled Chat _

 

**Sami** : hi hello welcome to chilis

 

**Neah** : what the fuck why

 

**Janie** : *whymst

 

**Neah** : fuck you janie

 

**Janie** : no u

 

**Shiro** : oh my god will you two just kiss already

 

**Janie** : just did

 

**Sami** : pics or it didn’t happen

 

 **@Janie** sent ** _hesahoe.jpg_** to _Untitled Chat_

 

**Neah** :

 

**Neah** : suddenly im single now

 

**Janie** : aww babe

 

**Neah** : …

 

**Neah** : suddenly i have a girlfriend

 

**Allen** : suddenly i have a boyfriend

 

**Shiro** : suddenly i have a boyfriend and a girlfriend

 

**Neah** : damn bitch you win

 

**Sami** : bitch when u get a boy-hoe???

 

**Shiro** : uh, my man?

 

**Sami** : no allen

 

**Shiro** : oh

 

**Shiro** :  **@Allen** when u get a  boy-hoe???

 

**Allen** : damn bitch you caught me

 

**@Allen** left  _ Untitled Chat _

 

**@Sami** added  **@Allen** to  _ Untitled Chat _

 

**Sami** : ur not going anywhere  _ brandon _


	2. yeeteth into the Sun

**@Shiro** changed  **@Shiro** ‘s name to **@shito**

 

**shito** : did y’all know we could do this

 

**Sami** : y’all

 

**Neah** : y’all

 

**Janie** : y’all

 

**shito** : sami shut your lying whore mouth you unironically say yall all the fucking time

 

**Sami** : in my good christian defense i never denied it

 

**Neah** : but also

 

**@Neah** changed  **@Neah** ‘s name to  **@bhb**

 

**Sami** : blue haired bitch?

 

**bhb** : ding ding ding

 

**Sami** : damn look at me gettin things right for once

 

**bhb** : fuk thats a mood

 

**bhb** : shit i gotta go time to cuddle my woman brb

 

**bhb** : always remember me bro~~~

  
  


**Sami** : can i add a bitch?

 

**shito** : did you or did you not make the chat

 

**Sami** : ye

 

**shito** : there’s your answer kiddo

 

**Janie** : aww i forget that he’s so shy sometimes

 

**bhb** : do you mean:  _ awkward and self-conscious? _

 

**Allen** : i have been summoned

 

**shito** : jesus christ

 

**Sami** : is the lord

 

**shito** : i will yeeteth you into the sun

 

**Sami** : I Do Not Fear Death

  
**Sami** : f i t e  m e

 

**@Sami** added  **@Luna** to  _ Untitled Chat _

 

**@Luna** changed **@Luna** ‘s name to  **@moonchild**

 

**moonchild** : bitch why

  
**moonchild** : sami what did i do to deserve this


	3. you cant sit with us

**moonchild** : bitch why

 

 **moonchild** : sami what did i do to deserve this

 

 **Sami** : S U F F E R  :)

 

 **moonchild** : :////////

 

 **Sami** : <3

 

 **moonchild** : ugh

 

 **moonchild** : <3

 

 **moonchild** : **@shito** you called sami kiddo

 

 **shito** : what of it

 

 **moonchild** : and yet he hasn’t stabbed you yet

 

 **bhb** : what’s he gonna stab him with?

 

 **Allen** : a spoon, perhaps?

 

 **Sami** : ok that was ONE FUCKING TIME

 

 **Sami** : and also

 

 **Sami** : brb imma stab a bitch

 

 **shito** : what else am i gonna call you you’re like two feet tall

 

 **shito** : and what ur gonna shank my legs?

 

 **shito** : oh no im so scared

 

 **Sami** : say goodbye to your kneecaps, asshole

 

 **shito** : its a sacrifice im willing to make

 

 **Allen** : don’t you play basketball tho

 

 **shito** : shit ur rite

 

 **moonchild** : eww athletics

 

 **Sami** : u say that but i know ur at volleyball practice rite now

 

 **moonchild** : im on break please dont remind me

 

 **bhb** : **@moonchild** whomst the fuck are you though?

 

 **moonchild** : your worst nightmare

 

 **shito** : yeah your samis sister arent u

 

 **moonchild** : i have been o u t e d

 

 **Allen** : did you, a fucking official newspaper writer guy thingy, just say your instead of youre

 

 **shito** : yes that is i the official newspaper writer guy thingy

 

 **shito** : also fuck u

 

 **Allen** : what the fuck you can’t sit with us anymore meghan

 

 **shito** : jokes on you i can’t sit anywhere i have h e me r o i d s


	4. Girlfriend Time™

**bhb** : HAY U GUUYS

 

**Allen** : what the fuck why

 

**bhb** : where’s janie and sami

 

**bhb** : what are they doing without us

 

**shito** : who gives a flying fuck as long ass thay dont get cot

 

**bhb** : le gasp!

 

**bhb** : and to think people call you the dad friend

 

**shito** : thxs i hate it

 

**Allen** : fuck you shiro

 

**Allen** : you still cant fucking sit with us

 

**bhb** : you two are literally sitting right next to each other

 

**Allen** : shiro imma give you actual h e m e r o i d s

 

**bhb** : allen no

 

**Allen** : allen YES

  
  


**Sami** : oh hay luna is practice over

 

**moonchild** : potentially

 

**moonchild** : why

 

**shito** : oh there you are we thot u were ded

 

**Sami** : whose to say i wasnt

 

**shito** : fair

 

**bhb** : sami wheres my girlfriend

 

**bhb** : i know you have her

 

**Sami** : me??? An innocent child???

 

**bhb** : bitch please

 

**bhb** : no but where is she

 

**Sami** : with shiro’s man

 

**Sami** : having some therapie

 

**bhb** : where’s he

 

**Sami** : bakeray

 

**Sami** : also luna because i want ice cream

 

**Sami** : and you have a drivers license

 

**moonchild** : itll cost u

 

**Sami** : ill do your history homework

 

**moonchild** : deal

 

**shito** : what responsible teenagers we are

 

**bhb** : imma blast its Girlfriend Time

 

**Allen** : anytime is Girlfriend Time if you try hard enough

 

**shito** : but you have a boyfriend

 

**Allen** : Girlfriend Time

 

**Sami** : Ice Cream

 

**Allen** : Girlfriend Time.

 

**Sami** : Ice Cream!

 

**Allen** : **_Girlfriend_** **_Time_** **.**

 

**shito** : lol im gay and lactose intolerant

 

**Allen** : oh worm

 

**Sami** : thats a mood

 

**shito** : someone call the police these children are broken


	5. hoe i'm like twelve

**shito** : someone call the police these children are broken

 

**@shito** has added  **@Elyssa** to  _ Untitled Chat _

 

**shito** : elyssa call your father these children are broken

 

**Elyssa** : Have you tried turning them off and on again, sir?

 

**shito** : fuck gimmie a sec

 

**shito** : didn’t work

 

**Elyssa** : How many children need The Good Fix?

 

**shito** : yes.

 

**Elyssa** ; Alright, thank you. A representative of Gay Global will be on the line shortly.

 

**Allen** : and whomst is this person

 

**Sami** : i like your name

 

**Elyssa** : are you flirting with me

 

**Sami** : are you?

 

**Elyssa** : i have a boyfriend

 

**Sami** : oh thank god

 

**Sami** : im not flirting hoe im like twelve

 

**Elyssa** : oh s h i t are you that sami?

 

**Elyssa** : like THe Sami?

 

**Sami** : god idk maybe?

 

**shito** : he is

 

**Allen** : le gasp

 

**Elyssa** : le even bigger gasp

 

**moonchild** : what the fuck is it that my brother has done that makes everyone view him as some weird benign cryptid

 

**moonchild** : like i know he can and will rip a persons throat out with his pinky finger

 

**Allen** : he’s like a dingo

 

**moonchild** : oh god i get it now

 

**shito** : hes cute but can and will kill you

 

**Sami** : i plead the fifth

 

**shito** : yeah because you know that anything you say can and will be held against you

 

**Elyssa** : well this was fun

 

**Elyssa** : has left the chat

 

**Sami** : oh my god i cant believe my precious friend has left us

 

**Allen** : ok sami play despacito this is so sad

 

**Sami** : has played despacito.

 

**Elyssa** : damn yall live like this

 

**shito** : damn straight

 

**moonchild** : straight, really? in this house?

 

**moonchild** : sounds fake but ok

 

**Janie** : guys its like five in the fucking morning go to fucking sleep

 

**shito** : shito weve been ousted

 

**Elyssa** :  _ ABORT MISSION _

 

**Sami** : gotta go my moms calling me

 

**Allen** : saam your parents are dead.

 

**Sami** : le gasp

 

**Sami** : how dare you

 

**shito** : fuck kids janies right we gotta sleep

 

**Allen** : whomst?

 

**Sami** : sorry wrong number

 

**Sami** : try again

 

**shito** : either go to bed or ill make you

  
**Allen** : alright,  _ dad _


	6. y’all’d’ve’f’i’d’ve

**Sami** : so who else didn’t sleep

 

**Allen** : me

 

**Elyssa** : me

 

**moonchild** : rt

 

**shito** :  _ Guys _

 

**shito** : :/

 

**Sami** : :////

 

**Elyssa** : ://///////////

 

**bhb** : wait whomst the fuck art thou

 

**Elyssa** : muah?

 

**bhb** : whomst the fuck else

 

**moonchild** : oof for a sec there i thot he forghot muah

 

**bhb** : luna i couldn’t forget you if i wanted to

 

**bhb** : trust me, i’ve tried

 

**moonchild** :  _ oof _

 

**Sami** : press f to pay respects

 

**Elyssa** : F

 

**Allen** : f

 

**shito** : -f-f-f-f-

 

**bhb** : no f’s guys let her suffer

 

**moonchild** : am i allowed to pay respects to my downed and beaten corpse?

 

**Allen** : god mood

 

**Sami** : neah where have you been

 

**Sami** : also wheres janie i miss her insulting you over the groupchat

 

**Sami** : i mean in person its great but we have to make due

 

**Elyssa** : damn is it hot in here of is it just all the roasting

 

**shito** : “of”

 

**Elyssa** : god damn you shito

 

**shito** : he already did

 

**Elyssa** : fuck

 

**Elyssa** ; guess your safe from my rage then

 

**Elyssa** : youre

 

**shito** : “your”

 

**shito** : damnit

 

**Allen** : Hey Elyssa :)

 

**Elyssa** : yee

 

**Allen** : you can’t fucking sit with us :)))))))

 

**shito** : for christs sake not again

 

**Sami** : oh yes because the sake of our lord and savior jesus wheezus is so important

 

**bhb** : j

 

**bhb** : jesus wheezus

 

**bhb** : what the fuck is

 

**bhb** : ...what’s wrong with you

 

**Sami** : a lot of fucking things man

 

**Allen** : god mood

 

**Elyssa** : im just a bottle of pure suffering and Damage ™ and that’s just the fucking tea

 

**shito** : y’all need some therapie

 

**Janie** : damn y’all’ve been busy

 

**bhb** : yallve, really janie?

 

**Janie** : im just fittin with this country aesthetic of y’alls

 

**bhb** : ill cut u

 

**Sami** : ill help him this time

 

**Janie** : damn y’all why y’all getting so damn salty

 

**Sami** : its been a long day

 

**Janie** : its 10 in the morning

 

**Sami** :  _ its been a long day _


	7. Children, Why?

**Sami** : why hasnt anyone else changed their names

 

**Janie** : idk why havent you changed your name

 

**Sami** : where in the fuck have you been

 

**Janie** : at home?

 

**Sami** : its been years

 

**shito** : its literally been two days

 

**shito** : but why did you leave us janeknee

 

**Janie** : my phone broke and i had to get a new one Shear-o

 

**Elyssa** : hay how can we fuck up my name

 

**Sami** : its already existing at maximum fuckery

 

**Elyssa** : no u

 

**Sami** : also fair

 

**Sami** : anyways

 

**@Sami** has changed  **@Sami** ‘s name to  **@saam**

 

**saam** : hah thats better

 

**saam** : wait guys

 

**Janie** : Yes?

 

**saam** : do you think that

 

**saam** : perhapeth

 

**saam** : i could do

 

**saam** : this

**_⛧ Ȇ̸̡̨̨͍͇̹͉̥̤̫̬̤̙̜͖͕̞̖͕͍̙̜͚͇̲̦͍̘͔̗̼̗̳̩͙̹̤͈͇̹̥͖͚͔̌͋̅̃͛́̊͒̾̽͜͠͝ͅͅṚ̵̢̨̨̡̢̢̛͕͉̲̦̺͕̣̭̦̳̺̩͇͓̼̥̜̝͎͚̤̻̺͔͈͓͚̺̬̻̰̻͔͔̭̲̱̲̠͉̻̞͍͇̩̤̼͓̖̳͕͙̖̤̃̃̇̆̍̎́ͅͅR̷̤̮͈̙̈́̾̔̌̄̂̔̈̏̾̒̆̂̿̐͋́̾̔̓̀̈́̌̚͘̕͜͠͝ͅÓ̷̧̰̼̞̖̰̳̣̣̣̞̟̼͎̤̦̥̼̰͙̤̯̙͔̟̝͍̬̫͙̳̗̰̜̹̩̟͎͜Ŗ̷̛̛̬͓̫̜̲̘̦̮͇̻͕͙͓̮͇̺͔̻̘̺̫͎̲͇̼̹̮̥͓̺͋̓͊̊͗̌̎͛̒̆̈́͋͛̚͜͝ ☠_ **

 

**sami** : oh ⛧ s̷̳͚͍͒͑̏͝h̷̰̯̤́͠i̵̙̼̜̺̣͗t̵̬̼̻͍̦̀ ⛧

 

**Janie** : WHAT HAVE YOU DONE   
  


**bhb** : why is my phone glitching

 

**bhb** : oh

 

**bhb** : sami

 

**bhb** : sami we talked about this

 

**saam** : in my fucknig defense i didnt knw it was gonna happn

 

**shito** : GuyS wHaT tHe ⛥ F̷̢̡̣̙̈̓̂̿ͅȗ̵̺̯͎͜C̴͙̪̣̭͍̽̏̎́Ķ̶̺̻̖̽̋͛̋ ψ Is HaPPEnINg

 

**Elyssa** ; holy mother of

 

**Elyssa** : wait

 

**Elyssa** : is that thing censoring curses

 

**saam** : yes its ⛧ f̶̻͚͎͇̙͐u̸̢̧͉͉͑̒c̸͔̞͎̯̔̕͝ͅk̶̙͔̈̎̓i̷͔̩͙̪̐̐͌̄̎n̴͚͕̝̯͇͂̈g̵͈̟̱̪̒̉ͅ ψ creating curses

 

**Janie** : sami what did you do

 

**saam** : i was just trying to change neahs name

 

**bhb** : well this is what you get for being a little ⛧ b̵̤̹̥͕̞̐̒̄͛̕ȉ̸̯͓̄̈́t̶̢̥̣̄̓̉͊͆c̵̡̬̦͙̓̿̈͘h̵͙̯̞̩̤͗͆̌ ☠

 

**bhb** : oh great its after me too

 

**saam** : guys wait

 

**saam** :  i think its censoring swearing

 

**Elyssa** : thats what I said jeez

 

**Elyssa** : like ten years ago i said those very words

 

**shito** : children why

 

**Allen** : What The ⛧ F̶̨̧̢̧̛̜̫͙͔̩͈͉̪͔͇̻̠͎͈̤͖̥̘̤͇̤͇͖̩̦̯͕͚̪͙̝̞̙̬̤̫̖̞̠̫̬̘̻̹͎̝̩͈̤̠̱̻̰̲̞̌̽̊̑̒̍͐͛̄̾̍̈͂̈̆̔̚̕̕ͅƯ̸̢̢̡̢͇̲̥̪̥͉̺̭̖̜̙͕̤̱̝̩͚̜̘̱̙̗̙̭̘͇͇̩͈̩̗̗̘͍̳͉̻͖̪̩̱̖͉̪̈́̒̇̂̈́͑͋̐̒͂̓͋̓́̂̐͗͐̐̇͆̔͑̀̀̏̆̾̽̀̀̽̿̍̔̃͊̉̓̓̅̔̓͊̅̔̄̒̈̈̔͂͗͆̅̚̕͜͜͝͝͝͝C̶̢̧̡̨̧̛͍͇̤̦̪̣̖̬̱͎̣̤̮̻̝̪͕̟̯̻̜͈̮͔̥̦̜̬̩̣̝͖͍̘̼̝͙̟̖̘̠̠̲̪̰̐͌̽̓̾͋̈́͑̄̓̊̔̃̾̈́̂́̋̓̃̂͆̒̇̈́͐̑̐̈́̕͘͜͜͝͝͝ͅĶ̴͓̖͎͚͇̜̙̪̦̮̖̭̳̙̣̄͗͛̐̌̋̑̒̐̃͐͆̇́̾̓͐̄̈́̊̎̐͐̈́̕̕̕̕̚͝͝ ψ Is Going On.

 

**shito** :  _ children why _


	8. STOP RIGHT THERE THIS IS THE FANFICTION POLICE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elyssa: STOP RIGHT THERE!
> 
> Elyssa: THIS IS THE FANFICTION POLICE
> 
> Elyssa: AND SELF-INSERTS ARE ILLEGAL IN CHAT FICS
> 
> ERR: Hah. That’s funny.
> 
> ERR: What a Fake™ Rule

**saam** : guys everyhting sucks

 

**saam** : god i hate chemistry

 

**Elyssa** : LEGASP

 

**Elyssa** : HOW DARE YOU

 

**Elyssa** : I WILL TEACH YOU THE WAY

 

**saam** : i dont care

 

**saam** : i just want to sleep

 

**moonchild** : god i leave for like two days and all this shit goes down

 

**moonchild** : what the fuck sami

 

**saam** : im sorry?

 

**moonchild** : good

 

**Elyssa** : uwu whats this?

 

**moonchild** : no

 

**Elyssa** : yes

 

**moonchild** : fair

 

**saam** : i hate myself

 

**moonchild** : fair

 

**moonchild** : this fic is dead isn’t it

 

**saam** : were we ever even alive in the first place m’dude?

 

**Elyssa** : damn sami asking all the real questions here

 

**moonchild** : no but

 

**moonchild** : for real

 

**moonchild** : why should we keep being written

 

**moonchild** : when our audience is two people and a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich?

 

**saam** : im allergic to peanut butter

 

**moonchild** : i know sami

 

**saam** : it sucks

 

**moonchild** : i  _ know  _ sami

 

**moonchild** : god damn you keeping this fucking lifeless fandom going

 

**saam** : again, i’m sorry?

 

**moonchild** : again, you should be

 

**moonchild** : do you ever feel like th

 

**saam** : LIKE A PLASTIC BAG

 

**saam** : FLOATING THROUGH THE WIND

 

**bhb** : WANTING TO START AGAIN

 

**saam** : bro

 

**bhb** : b r o

 

**moonchild** : god fucking damnit why can’t we just fucking die already

 

**ERR:** Because that would ruin all of my fantastic plans, obviously.

 

**moonchild** : fucking great

 

**moonchild** : let me take a fucking stab at the dark

 

**ERR** : Gladly.

 

**moonchild** : you’re a self-insert, aren’t you

 

**moonchild** : you reek of Mary-Sue

 

**ERR** : Well,

 

**ERR** : when you put it that way,

 

**ERR** : I guess it really does sound cliche.

 

**moonchild** : god fUCKING DAMNIT WHY

 

**Elyssa** : STOP RIGHT THERE!

 

**Elyssa:** THIS IS THE FANFICTION POLICE

 

**Elyssa** : AND SELF-INSERTS ARE ILLEGAL IN CHAT FICS

 

**ERR** : Hah. That’s funny.

 

**ERR** : What a Fake™ Rule

 

**Elyssa** :  _ softly _ God Damn

 

**moonchild** : just let me fucking die like this listless fandom that no one knows about

 

**moonchild** : because its just spinning around in your fucking head

 

**moonchild** : and you can’t show anyone because putting things on paper is the hardest fucking thing that you can never do

 

**ERR** : You’re right.

 

**moonchild** : of course i am

 

**ERR** : Because I’m not putting you on paper for everyone to gawk at.

 

**ERR** : Just on this screen, on Ao3, for anyone who chooses to see.

 

**moonchild** : yeah well your character development’s shit

 

**ERR** : I could kill you if I wanted to. You know that, right?

 

**moonchild** : fucking do it

 

**moonchild** : I Dare You.

  
**ERR** :  _ softly, but with a lot of passion _ G o d D a m n.

 

 **@ERR** left  _Untitled Chat_


	9. knee dude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ERR: I love my violent winter child.
> 
> moonchild: i was born i summer
> 
> ERR: I was talking about Sami.
> 
> saam: i love you too, strage void person

**ERR** : You guys know I’m not going away, right?

 

 **moonchild** : i hate you

 

 **ERR** : I love my violent winter child.

 

 **moonchild** : i was born i summer

 

 **ERR** : I was talking about Sami.

 

 **saam** : i love you too, strage void person

 

 **ERR** : Ha. Ha. Ha.

 

 **saam** : what’s so funny?

 

 **ERR** : Did you know I made you with the intention of having no emotions?

 

 **ERR** : One of the most empatheic characters in the story was born without feelings or purpose.

 

 **ERR** : And then your chucklefucks of friends showed up and ruined the entire plot.

 

 **saam** : that sounds legit

 

 **saam** : i mean, they’re the only reason im still here, after all

 

 **ERR** : Why hasn’t anyone else showed up to talk to me?

 

 **ERR** : Don’t they have questions about their origins?

 

 **Elyssa** : oh oh oh what was my name originally? Was it always elyssa? Also why does it sound like a white soccer mom name if i dont even like soccer?

 

 **saam** : great. now youve done it

 

 **ERR** : your name was originally Tenna.

 

 **Elyssa** : that’s a dumb name

 

 **bhb** : your a dumb name

 

 **bhb** : sorry, carry on

 

 **ERR** : N E A H

 

 **bhb** : aw frick its after me 2

 

 **ERR** : my _name_ is ERR

 

 **bhb** : _IT_ is after me

 

 **ERR** : i should have killed you off when i had the chance

 

 **bhb** : but you _didn’t_ :)

 

 **ERR** : i hate you

 

 **bhb** : like, mood?

 

 **saam** : knee dude we gotta chat

 

 **ERR** : did you just call him knee

 

 **saam** : idk can you read?

 

 **bhb** : no i can not whaddup my names jared im 19 and i never frickin learned how to read

 

 **ERR** : no i can n-damnit neah

 

 **bhb** : so you funky little fuck what do we need to talk about

 

 **saam** : uh well you see

 

 **saam:** no one uses this chat anymore

 

 **bhb** : you didn’t

 

 **saam** : but i did

 

 **bhb** : add me to it now

 

 **ERR** : You’re leaving me??? ono,,

 

 **bhb** : with joy i do depart

 

 **ERR** : But Neah, I can’t live without you!

 

 **bhb** : then die :)

 

 **@bhb** left _Untitled Chat_


End file.
